Picture this: it’s late December and the kind of evening where the tree lights are soft, there’s a mug of something warming nearby and the air carries that curiously seasonal mix of chilliness and comfort. You’re rifling through ribbons and wrapping paper, trying to decide whether Great-Aunt Myfanwy really needs another jumper or whether this year you might try something a little different: something less ‘object’, more ‘feeling’.
That little flicker of a thought, the one that wonders what she’ll actually remember, is the moment when memories start to matter more than ‘things’.
Why does the thought of ‘experience over item’ tingle so much more?
We live in a material world filled to the gills with ‘stuff’. Clothes, gadgets, gizmos, the latest piece of ‘kit’, whatever that happens to be … Especially for those of us who are not scrimping, and for the person who already ‘has everything’, slipping yet another trinket under the tree hardly feels meaningful.
A more compelling, and enduring, move is to leave space for moments, stories and simple human connection. That’s why gifting an experience or a memory isn’t just generous – it’s wise.
Experiences create memories; memories carry meaning
Think about a train journey across mountains, a family reunion you organised, a weekend away with friends or a memoir project that funnels a lifetime of stories into a book of elegant and exquisitely crafted pages. These aren’t just ‘gifts’; they’re catalysts for something deeper.
Friends and loved ones may not remember the brand of that jumper, but they will remember the laughter, the warmth, the conversation and the shared silences.
That’s the magic of experiential gifts. They transcend the ordinary and carry real enduring meaning.
Sometimes the perfect gift isn’t about the recipient; it’s about the giver too
The funny thing about meaningful gifts is that they don’t just benefit the person who receives them; they change something in the giver. Gifting an experience or a story is inherently an introspective act. It says: I care enough about who you are and what you’ve lived through to honour it properly.
It’s a cliché but presents like these really can be ‘the gifts that keep on giving’. As soon as one is given, it starts echoing through conversations, family dinners, reflections and sometimes through generations.
Take the idea of gifting a memoir project … We’ve seen grown adults tear up reading pages of their own past, tugging old memories back into the light and calling up long-forgotten names from long ago. Similarly, we’ve seen people who gifted those stories standing beside them and feeling just as moved as they watch someone they love rediscover pieces of themselves. That’s a far richer gift to give than something that just gathers dust or ends up tucked away in a cupboard.
It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it should feel intentional
Here’s the thing: experiences and memory gifts don’t have to mean over-the-top price tags.
You don’t have to charter a yacht (though if you want to, fair play to you!). You don’t need to splurge on premium leather or gold or high-end watches. Instead, simply pick something that feels thoughtful – a recorded memoir, a weekend away, a family recipe night – and write down the stories. A simple day trip or a picnic somewhere beautiful. Maybe even a video call with someone you’ve not seen in years, during which you share memories and laughter.
Why this Christmas might be the time when we most need meaningful gifts
There’s no denying that, for most of us, time flies. Days get busy. Deadlines, work, errand lists … it all piles on. Consequently, before we know it, we find ourselves falling back on whatever’s convenient. We default to the simplest thing we can grab and pick the quickest option at hand. A voucher. A pair of socks. A safe bet. Easy. Job done.
But this Christmas, with everything that’s going on in the world – with people scattered across cities and even countries, parents and grandparents growing older, friendships being stretched thin – what we really need is not presents but presence. (Call that another cliché, if you like, but it holds true.) Connection. A reason to pause, to remember, to feel close.
When you give memories, or the chance to preserve them, you give more than just a gift. You give time, belonging and a renewed sense of meaning.
That’s why a memoir or a private autobiography, for instance, like those we create at LifeBook Memoirs, is more than just paper and ink. It’s a bridge across generations. It’s identity. It’s legacy.
Sometimes it hurts to look back
Full disclosure: memory gifts aren’t always warm and cosy. Sometimes, recalling the past brings regret or pain. Not all stories are easy to bear. Many carry loss, mistakes, and moments we wish we’d handled differently.
And yet, paradoxically, that’s part of their power. Facing the messy, the imperfect and the “I wish I had …” moments we all have can heal, bring perspective and open up honest conversations with loved ones. Well-crafted memoirs don’t gloss over the hard bits. They honour them.
Gift a loved one their story, warts an’ all, and you give more than nostalgia. You give acceptance and compassion.
So, what to do instead of another box under the tree?
If you’re reading this and thinking “I want to try this”, here are a few quick ideas:
- Sit a loved one down and record their stories. Even a thirty-minute chat can be the start of something beautiful.
- Plan a shared experience: a walk, a day out, a meal, a trip, a new activity – something you’ll both remember.
- Give a memory-oriented gift: a memoir project, a photo book of past moments, a ‘letter to the future you’ to be opened in five years.
- Commit to time: make a promise that in the new year you will meet, call or visit, and write that promise in a card.
- Book an adrenaline experience they’ve always joked about: tank-driving, skydiving, bungee jumping or a hot-air balloon flight at sunrise.
- Surprise them with a short break somewhere they’ve dreamed of seeing, whether that’s Reykjavik, Rome or a tiny village they once mentioned in passing.
- Gift a voucher for a hobby they’ve wanted to try but never committed to, like pottery, woodworking, sailing or landscape photography.
- Arrange a wildlife or nature encounter: whale watching, a night under the northern lights or a guided stargazing session with a local astronomer.
- Buy tickets for a play or a concert you can enjoy together and make an evening of it with dinner and a good catch-up.
Final thought
This Christmas, give some thought to how it might feel to step away from ‘things’. Because what people remember, what lasts, isn’t the bling of a new piece of jewellery or the passing joy of a fancy new gadget; it’s laughter, tears, happy silences and conversations in the living room while the fire is flickering. It’s the stories we tell and the memories we revive; the connections we strengthen and the legacy we leave.
So, next time you wrap a present, ask yourself whether it will still matter in ten years’ time. Will it still make your friend or loved one feel seen, remembered and cherished? If the answer’s yes, go for it. If not, maybe give them a memory instead.
Let’s make this festive season one to remember – literally.
Written by the LifeBook Memoirs editorial team
